So Sad!

Today was a sad day indeed.

One of the house rules is you have to finish everything you're supposed to do before asking for screen time. Both kids know this rule very well although they keep putting off everything every single day.

Today after dinner, Miss A eventually sat in front of the piano after being pushed by her brother couple of times as Mr. C didn't get the iPad time until his sister finished piano, another rule set by their not-so-nice mom.  Little miss rushed every song and of course was scolded.  Within a little more than five minutes, she was already wrapping up the practice by playing scales!  I told her by doing that she wouldn't get iPad time even though she finished because she didn't put effort into it. Ha, little miss had so much temper that she stopped playing all together and hid under the table, which she usually did when being in the "mood".

I was not a nice mom, period.  She was ignored by me, and when her brother asked if he could play iPad, I said yes.  Mr. C should not be punished by his sister's behaviour.   Eventually Miss A came out from under the table and played the pieces she was learning this week. When she was finished, I was hoping I could talk to her about her behaviour before handing her the iPad.  But, out of my expectations, Miss A stumped all the way passing me without even talking or looking at me!!!  Ha!!! I said fine to her!

She went into her grandpa's room weeping quietly.  I ignored her again.  After I finished washing up in the kitchen, I peeked inside the room and saw her sitting at the desk writing. After a few minutes, she skipped out of the room and sat beside her brother.  When Mr. C's iPad time was up, they both watched TV, and I went upstairs to have a shower.

Around 8:45, I called out to them for shower time.  Miss A came up like nothing happened, joyfully showed me a drawing, and said, "Mom, do you like this?  Isn't it cute?  I think it's super cute, especially the two puddles of tears!"

I was speechless!

And for the rest of the night, she behaved very well, doing everything without being reminded.  Miss A is indeed a very special girl, my very special daughter. 

Wishful Thinking

This past May 1st marked the seventh anniversary of mom's passing away (I still find it difficult to say the words "pass away" whenever I mention mom). It's amazing to see how the time has worked to wash away my sadnesses layer by layer.  This morning I read an article,  My mum says the word cancer - It's the beginning of the end,  a kind of articles that used to set me into tears instantly, but what I feel now is calmness and resonance with the article.  The sadness has become a feeling buried so deep somewhere in me that it took me a few minutes to retrieve it and to experience it all over again.

The article reminded me of my mom.

Yesterday morning, when I woke up and checked on FB, I found a friend posted a video about a multiple myeloma survivor.  I watched it and posted a comment right after.  The guy in the video was lucky enough to receive a cell transplant and survived the whole process.  His two comments, "My appreciation of life is different" and "Everyday is a good day." stuck in my head.  Then my friend messaged me instantly and told me that his dad had been recently diagnosed multiple myeloma.  Thirteen years ago (I didn't realize it was more than a decade ago until now) I had no idea what that was and didn't know how to pronounce it.  And now I feel like an old friend of it regardless of the fact that it once mercilessly destroyed my life.

This piece of news reminded me of my mom.

Yesterday afternoon I flipped through the albums to look for some old pictures for my current scrapbooking project.  A picture stood out and yelled at me, "Look at me!"  I had gone through these black & white pictures million times already, but it seemed I'd never noticed this one.  It was a small picture, and I had to take a picture of it using my iPad in order to look at it clearly.

I can't stop staring at the picture ever since.  Judging from my mom's look and hairstyle, this picture was taken probably when she was around 25.  What made my mom laugh so happily?  Who took this picture?  My grandma looked so serene and composed while my grandpa looked truly handsome in the back.  What was that place?  Who were the people in the background?  What did my mom do with her parents in that place?  So much to look at, and so many questions that I can't find answers to.

When my mom was in severe pain towards the end, she asked for her mom several times.  I guess when we are vulnerable and weak, we will all think of our mother, her tenderness and love.

When I think of my mom now, I make myself believe that she is in the heaven, happily with her parents and smiling just like that in the picture.  My wishful thinking.

Week in the Life - Friday May 2016

Friday, May 13, 2016

I am so glad that I am able to finish this journey with full force and a happy heart.

The whole thing was started on last Saturday when my dad left for his vacation, and he'll be back tomorrow night.  For the past whole week, I've developed a rhythm with only four of us in the family, and I like it.  With my dad being around, my days will be somewhat less busy as he will help some drop-offs and pick-ups of the kids.  But the family dynamics are different, and the kids behave differently, too.  I didn't notice this subtle changes until after his very first two trips to China since 2009.  Well for now I guess we just savour what we have now.

Although it's the last day, I have taken quite a few pictures surprisingly.  I guess after this, I may have a break from taking pictures again, just like the time in every December when I have taken tons of pictures for my December Daily album.  But taking pictures throughout the day may help me remember how my day has gone by better through creating a sort of digital diary in pictures.  Somehow I like this idea quite a lot.  We will see.

Here is my Friday.

Week in the Life - Thursday May 2016

Thursday, May 12, 2016

I am 6 days into this project and going strong.  There are many reasons I love it: it serves a great motivation for me to wake up with a great purpose; it lends me great opportunities to catch ordinary life from different angles; it forces me to look back and treasure what I've lived; it makes me see clearly what is in my life RIGHT NOW, not in the past, not in the future.  When I look at the pictures, I clearly know THIS is my life and I love it.

Thursday was another day filled with good weather, busy schedule with kids and good time with family and friends.

Week in the Life - Wednesday May 2016

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Today was a bit different from the usual.  Abby needed to go to an author talk around 12:40 pm, therefore, she would have lunch at school.  When either kid won't have come home for lunch, I'll usually pack lunch for them both so that I can have more time for that day.

Yesterday when I signed the consent form for the trip to the author talk, I didn't have a clear idea what it was.  I only knew that Abby was chosen to be the only two students going, representing the whole school.  Thank you for Google, I've found the information about this author talk.  We all feel honoured to be part of it, especially Miss A.

Here is how my Wednesday went.